Why I Want a Jet

Really expensive jets. I want one. Or multiple really expensive jets, here is why:

It could take me places.
Not only could it take me fun places but I could also take fun people to fun places to do fun things. Fun fun fun! Possibly with Victoria's Secret supermodels. I don't mean "fun" in a sexual way but if you take it that way I am completely alright with it.

I could rub it in people's faces.
"You're being such a dick right now!"
   "Oh that's weird because I have a jet..."
"What the devil does that have to do with anything?"
   "I'm sorry I can't hear you over the sound of my JET."
"I hate you"

I could randomly bring up the fact that I have a jet in everyday conversations.
"It was very nice of you to drop my kids off at their soccer practice today! Thank you so much!"
   "Oh it's alright I felt obligated because I have a Gulfstream that I can use whenever I want to."
   "...and you don't."
"Wow. Now I realize why we never talk."
   "Like a G6."

It could help me make new friends!
"Hello stranger how are you today?"
   "I am doing pretty amazing because I have a private a jet."
"Oh cool! We should totally become best friends because I'm super materialistic."
   "OMG ME TOO! Because I have a jet."
"Let's go fly over the orphanages to scare the orphans!"
   "That is the best idea I've ever heard! I hate children."

But what if I met someone who also had a jet?
"Why are you poking my wife with a cane?"
   "Because I can and I have a jet so that gives me permission to poke anyone I want with a cane."
"I have a jet too and I don't poke random people with a cane."
   "..."
"..."
   "Mine's a Transformer."

If I were to die I'd want it to be dramatic and news worthy.
Pretty self-explanatory. If I die I want to die in something cool. Like a jet. Not some crappy airplane that SouthWestern airlines has, but a private jet. Like a Gulfstream. I would want to pop bottles while the plane is icing in a blizzard.